All my spoons are in all the right places, if you know what I'm talkin' about...
Every year I have to do or say something to “honor” her on Memorial Day. But this year I am away from absolutely anyone else who knew her, as well as most of my friends in general. So I’ll just vent here I guess.
Memorial Day 2007 an important person in my life was killed. More specifically, she was raped, murdered, and then her and her home were set on fire. The guy who did it is up for early parole this year. We tried defending it with a petition, spent about a week being called a cunt and listening to a few of the murderer’s friends lie and callously insult her and anyone who defended her. I spread the petition to deny his parole around and we got quite a lot of signatures in a few days. Due to…frustrating reasons that I will not talk about…that petition was thrown out.
I knew this girl my whole life, since before I can remember and it was just our parents telling us stories of shit we did. She told me things she never told anyone. She taught me things, protected me. She was a fucked up girl, definitely. But she was also amazing.
I guess, since it happened on a recognized holiday, that it makes it a little harder to not feel sad on this day in particular. I mean, you can’t ignore it as easily as you might if it was just some random day.
I’m also probably more bummed that I can’t go to my usual coping mechanism. I won’t be surrounded by my dearest friends today, grilling and drinking and laughing. I’ll likely go for several walks, and spend most of the day on the internet.
It’s gotten easier, definitely, year by year. But this time it stings a little bit more. I guess I am starting to feel the fact that he will be out of prison soon, and that’s likely amplifying the feelings I would normally be having.